"I want to give you a Magical Moment"

So we have returned from what was a truly magical trip to Walt Disney World. The absolute highlight of the trip was Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party. It is a special event that is intended to be a Christmas Party thrown by Mickey himself at the Magic Kingdom. The party begins at 7, and you have to have an extra special ticket to join in the fun.

We spent the first hour of the party taking in the decorations, and beauty of the park. The castle was decked out in Christmas icicle lights, and tremendously beautiful. Then the special Christmas parade begins. It was so amazing; like being at Macy's Day Parade, only better. All of the characters seem to make an appearance, a broadway production times 100.











I was literally brought to tears by the beauty and brilliance. A cast member or, (employee) was sitting to my right, and leaned over to ask if I was OK. I explained that I was OK, that I was just happy and sad all at once. That we had, had a lot of loss this year, and that beautiful things sometimes make me very sad for my loss, and very happy that life continues in its blessings as well. We continued to enjoy the parade with Cinderella, the famous Mice, and topped off by Santa Clause (straight from the North Pole I am confident). After the parade, she leaned over and said that she wanted to give us a Magical Moment, could we follow her to City Hall. We did.



We waited about ten minutes and then entered a "garage" where they store the parade floats. Soon, appears Mickey, Minney, and Santa Clause. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. Will was scared. But excited. I could have gone home right that second and had my trip be complete.




After the Magical Moment, we continued to enjoy hot chocolate, fireworks set to Christmas Carols, and then Dumbo, Peter Pan, Its a Small World, Dumbo (again, and again) and the carousel. One more ride Will kept saying. At midnight we headed home.

As I was drifting to sleep I was thinking how exciting the night was, and that while I understand that Santa also went home and took of his suit and went to bed, as did the mice, that for me it was so real and beautiful and fun that it was such a gift. Just before we left for Disney World I learned that our new pregnancy is not destined to make it to delivery. And that hurts, again. And this gift took away that pain for the night and in the morning I thought first of Santa Clause instead of my pain. Thank you cast member, thank you Disney World, thank you Joe for the gift of going back to Disney World (my Christmas gift), and thank you God for the continued blessings.

A real lucky duck!

Its true, only 28 days until we return to the most magical place on Earth! Walt Disney World! I am beside myself that we are returning, a real lucky duck I am. I am in fact already getting nervous about the post magic let down and my insatiable desire to return! I have worked out a tentative schedule for each day. I have a quick reference sheet for my husband to refer to. I have character meal reservations at the Crystal Palace (Winnie the Pooh) Hollywood and Vine (Little Einsteins), Chef Mickey's (for Will's official third birthday party), and a dinner show the Disney's Spirit of Aloha Dinner. We are maybe most looking forward to the holiday festivities Micky's Very Merry Christmas Party, as well as the Osborne Family Festival of lights.

I'm already nervous about visiting Epcot which we have not yet explored, and a little nervous about all those nights in a hotel room (last time we stayed in a time share). There comes no new adventure without risk I suppose. This time we are sadly not flying direct and I am a little nervous about Will's behavior on the airplanes and the chance for disaster on what will be four total planes by the time we are down there and back. I felt like we barely hung on last time flying direct!

But you know what, we planned this trip as part of our healing process, and 8 months after our family disaster we are doing well, and that's an awesome feeling! We count ourselves as lucky ducks to be celebrating life, our 2 year old's third birthday, and shhh don't tell anyone but also what by then will be 12 weeks of a new pregnancy. A little magic does a lot for a family!

What a child needs most

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. -Rudolph Giuliani


I was reflecting today on tradition, and how some things will be the same this year, and how some things will be different. Anyone who knows me, knows that I lost my papa this year. But, in some ways I have lost my grandma too. My grandma has Alzheimer's Disease and lives in a nursing home in Mt. Pleasant Iowa. And, you know what I miss her. My grandma has been in my life as one of my number one people since I was a girl, since I think about the third grade when she came to live with us in Iowa. Sometimes, my grandma would drive me crazy, protecting my mom I suspect from some of the daily grind, she would tell me what to do or direct me in a way I didn't like. But as I have gotten to be a grown up I realize that she was always willing to give me more than she had. She always bought me a cookie in the mall, she frequently gave me cash out of her purse when no one was looking, she drove me to appointments in Burlington, and to synchronized swimming an hour from home every Saturday for two years. My grandma always listened, and I can say with confidence, never judged, she in fact almost never offered her opinion; only her ear. My grandma loaned me her car whenever I asked (and sometimes when I didn't). She never mentioned that I never one time put gas in it. And even much later in life, she loaned me the money to pay for my fiance's wedding ring. My grandma and I went on lots of trips, some with my mom, some without. One of the things she can still remember with some confusion, is our trip to Chicago for my cousin Sue's wedding. There was this moment where we were locked out of the hotel at one of those side entrances. It was pouring rain, just pouring. We were huddled against the doorway trying to protect her newly set hair laughing so hard, I really thought I was going to wet my pants. We made our way in a taxi later that night to see Wicked. I don't really think she liked it as much as me, but she was happy that I was happy.

My grandma was really interesting too. She was a dancer when she was young, in a circus! One time we were at a showing of Miss Saigon in a theater in Chicago, the theater just glorious. Just before the show begins, she says very matter of factly, "I was once in a dance group that performed here, The Kit Kat Club." We just started laughing, because to her it had not been worth mentioning all day long or as we sat there for an hour before the show started. Just an ordinary fact to her, that she had once been a dancer on this stage. It was as if she never really knew, even before the Alzeimer's how beautiful and interesting and fun she was.

She has given me over my lifetime, literally hundreds of beautiful gifts, but every Christmas I enjoy most putting out my collection of Swarofski snowflake ornaments from her. Every year, she would say, are you SURE you want another. And I would say, oh yes, I do. And I'm so glad I have them. My grandma made hundreds and hundreds of cookies for my wedding rehearsal party, even though she could only make them a few at a time in a counter top oven. I'm lucky to have her still, she is still alive, and I can hear her voice. But I just wanted to take a minute and reflect on the things that I miss about her...and also to reflect on how lucky Will is to have my mom. I hope they are friends like my grandma and me and that I have the sense to stay out of the way.

Carroll's Pumpkin farm

Well we made it, a sunny day yielded some questions about whether it would be warm enough; but as it turns out a high of 63 was perfect for Carroll's Pumpkin Patch! Carroll's opens at 1 on Sunday, and while Autumn Acres in nearby Oskaloosa is much closer, they are not open on Sundays at all!

We headed to Carroll's in Grinnell and it took us just over an hour to get there. The crowd was very small probably in part because we got there right at opening time. Will loved feeding the goats and jumping on the huge jumping pillow that is sort of like an orange monster trampoline. He loved showing off his recently perfected tricycling skills, and trying a tire swing. He was anxious to have his picture taken, and loved posing on the tractors and in front of the painted signs. He especially loved the grain building, playing in what must be tons of corn for about 30 minutes.

A lunch of hotdogs and bottled root beer made for a great way to the end the afternoon.

We took Will to Carroll's Pumpkin Patch once before when he was just less than one year old, (he is just less than 3 now). I noticed lots of differences of course his size and independence. Though he loved feeding the goats then and now. This time the air gun that shoots corn cobs sent him sprinting to the safety of the tree house, maybe next year?

A new activity on a rain day...

I've been thinking every weekend for a while that we are going to head to the Pumpkin Patch, maybe in Grinnell, maybe in Donaldson, maybe in Oskaloosa, but it just hasn't been a nice day! So today at the start of yet another rainy day we decided to venture over to Bridge City Bowl. They had open bowling starting at noon, for 2.50 a game and 1.75 for shoes. The bowling alley was empty aside from us for the majority of the time that we were there. We headed over to the alley with Will's friends Lilly and Leah. He tried rolling it and using the ball stand, either way it was fun. Fallowed by lunch at Taco Bells we made the most of a rainy day. Pumpkin patch tomorrow? I sure would love to see the sun on a day OTHER than a weekday!

Dreams Come True

I hesitate to write about this because its not specifically my news...but I can't resist because it is so exciting for us...and the broader implication that its never to late for your dreams to come true! My mom grew up in Chicago Illinois but her grandparents had a cottage on a lake in Red Granite Wisconsin called Pearl Lake. She visited that lake whenever she could until she was 20 years old. It became a way of life, being at the Lake, and she always loved it. They had friendsips, and first loves, swimming and skiing, long lazy days when it raining, visits to the sauna. She has always wished a return to the Lake Days. We vacationed there several times while I was growing up and we have fond memories of those visits and the lucky times when our cousins were there too. About two weeks ago my brother suggested to my mom that she could probably make this dream a reality if she wanted. She has more free time now that my papa is gone, and it has come time to think about her own retirement and what that will look like in the next several years. They set out a three year plan, and two weeks later she has closed the deal on a lake property! We are so excited about "mimi's place" on Lake Thunderhead in Unionville Missouri. It is just a hop/skip/jump for all of us. There is plenty of room for children and grandchildren. While Will is the only little one now we hope that eventually there might be siblings and cousins. I find myself fantasizing about boats and dice games, about hot dog roasts and smores. About pretending to camp in mimi's back yard. It is so exciting to see her dream come true, and it is even better that we get to be a part of it!

Adieu to summer

I can't believe its true, that summer is really over. It feels like a landmark to me though. Like Fall is a starting place, a new beginning. The pleasure of a sharp pencil and a new school year feels good. When I look back at the summer it feels incredibly long and incredibly short simultaneously. But the end of summer is always marked by Labor Day and for people who have lived in Mt. Pleasant, the annual Old Thresher's Event.

My mom lives really close to the Old Thresher's Fairground, so its easy for us to go over for just a few hours. We can walk, and avoid the parking nightmare. For us this year it was really just a great afternoon.

We arrived and went straight to the train ride where by sheer good fortune landed ourselves on the train where a robbery is staged. Will loves "bad guys" and he enjoyed the robbery immensely. I learned after a few trips on trains that the loud noise can really ruin a trip; so earlier in the summer I got Will some headphones...and they made Old Threshers far more enjoyable! I saw lots of hands over ears and tears, but not Will this year. I felt like a good mom. After the train ride and robbery, the three of us headed over to the church tent to gorge on meat loaf sandwiches and a plan for strawberry short cake. We were too full for cake. Some day we will learn, eat dessert first.

After lunch we headed over to a child's play area where Will rode a pony, twice. And, then, a tractor! He was adorable and continues to be thrilled with his new t-shirt that declares he drove a tractor at Old Threshers (a gift from his mimi). We finished the afternoon at Old Threshers with a ride on the carousel.

But the day was not over. Oh no, we picked granny up and headed to nearby New London for some ice cream. Will was a doll the entire day and promptly fell fast asleep on the return ride from New London, only to awake eventually in Ottumwa.

I didn't feel any sadness on this particular year, on this ceremonially end to summer afternoon. While it was tremendous to have time with my family, and to not have to balance work and play, there is pleasure in a new beginning.

Just as a reminder, don't forget the Polar Express train ride tickets at Old Thresher's MicMillan Park go on sale soon. In fact if you go to the above link, on October 15 there will be a mail in reservation form available for printing. If you wish to buy tickets you can mail this form in by October 28 for your tickets. November 1 you can call to make reservations. Old Thresher's boasts that their tickets for the 5 days of rides has previously sold out in 10 days. Train runs December 3,4,5, 11 and 12.

My digital scrapbook 2008-2009

Click here to view this photo book larger

Will first year November 2007-2008

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Rich Family 2009 2010

Click here to view this photo book larger

Friday Family Night at Blank Park Zoo

For our 11th anniversary we headed to Des Moines. We did some back to school shopping, enjoying the sales and tax free weekend. We did a little swimming in the hotel pool; and then headed over to Blank Park Zoo! Apparently, in the summer time, you can go to Blank Park Zoo on Friday evenings. They are open until 8 PM and they offer a little music and demonstrations with the animals. The night we were there happened to be the bat education night, which is sort of ironic as we absolutely HATE bats!! The weather was nice and cool and the animals were SO active! I have been to the zoo many times and have never actually seen the animals move so much! The giraffes were eating, and the lions were playing with a huge ball! Will loved it and so did we! I highly recommend Family Friday nights at Blank Park Zoo! We invested in a family pass for the Science center and zoo for the next year. They have several hundred zoos and museums that recongize the pass, so we will be heading to Omaha soon! Pictures to come!

Celebration of Life

My papa really wanted this last week to be a "celebration of life". But no matter how you slice it; it is a hard and difficult time. It is never good to say goodbye. I personally, am not good with change. I have shown my ass several times in the past seven days at times acting selfishly, at times sulking and pouting, at times irrationally angry, and always exhausted. I am tired, very tired. It is the first time that I have had to do sad without my papa. I am confident that we will move ahead and create a new normal; but for now I am just letting myself be tired. Please take a look at the video tribute shown at my papa's memorial. A labor of love my husband and I made, a tribute to a good man, a good husband, a good papa.

Team O'Neill

My papa repeatedly said that he owed my mother everything; that without her his life would have been nothing. He frequently worried about things being good enough for her. That she deserved the sun and the moon which he attempted to give her figuratively; and literally in jewelry that has the sun and the moon on it. My papa said that my mom taught him how to have fun; I think my papa taught my mom to believe in her own ability to do anything she wants. He may have regretted the amount of self confidence she eventually had; because he liked taking care of her and he liked that she used to need him to do that. I'm not sure at the end who was taking care of who.

My parents liked to dance. And my papa was a good dancer. He enjoyed the music and the drama of a ballroom; the beauty of the experience, while my mom took care of counting and knowing how to help move around the floor; all while making it seem that he was leading. It is an analogy for their marriage really. The waltz is hard but their foxtrot together was perfect. My parents song was Moon River.

My mom and papa met the first time in a parking lot. He was the counselor. She a brand new teacher. She was not sure where she was supposed to go; he was running late. Later that year she lost her temper with a student and she got really worried that she shouldn't have. She went to talk to the principal who was out. My dad the counselor reassured her that she shouldn't worry; he would take care of it. And he did, he always did.

My mom and papa were a good team. And I know that she's not sure how to be just one person on what has been Team O'Neill. But I know that she can do it; and I am confident that my papa is waiting. He always waited for her. While she was on the phone with me; while she was trying on clothes; while she made dinner...on and on. And he never minded. He is waiting patiently then and now.

I think what sticks out to me most is that he loved her so. And while her room mate Linda said, "What does he want with you?" when Linda answered the door for their first date. My papa to the very end knew that quite possibly, he was the lucky one.

My papa passed away Saturday July 25. He will be missed every single day.

A symbol of independence

"Mickey Mouse is, to me, a symbol of independence. He was a means to an end. He popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad twenty years ago on a train ride from Manhattan to Hollywood at a time when business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner. Born of necessity, the little fellow literally freed us of immediate worry." - Walt Disney

I have been thinking a lot about how it is that I have found our adventures in Disney World a healing process. I think that it has something to do with being a family, and having something to look forward to. I think it has something to do with going to a place where it is expected that you will smile. But when I read the previous quote, I thought maybe Walt Disney said it best. Perhaps it is about freeing yourself from worry. Allowing the worry and the fear and the sorrow to fade away. Whether it the Mickey flag outside our house, the sticker on my car, a photo on my desk, or this blog. Mickey has become a reminder to be happy. A "symbol of independence" Today I head to Iowa City to talk to our doctors about adding to our family. It is exciting and scary. They will advise us about the best route to take and whether or not it is wise; we trust them. Mostly I find myself grateful that we are feeling independent enough from our tragedies to move ahead in whatever direction life takes us.

Disney Scrapbook

I finally finished my Disney scrapbook!! Take a look if you like:

http://www.disneyphotopass.com/virtualviewer.aspx?id=d3b37033-fefb-4956-8b1f-ec75751f62a7

To Nook or not to Nook

The Nook is an e-reader made available at Barnes and Noble for between 149.00 and 199.00 (depending on whether you chose Wi-Fi connectivity or 3G connectivity. I have had my Nook since Christmas and while it has steadily decreased in price since that time, I am not a bit sorry that I have had it for the last 6 months! Next to the GPS I think it is my favorite piece of technology in the Rich household. Top 10 reasons I love my Nook:

1. When I'm done with a book; it doesn't take up space or gather dust!
2. When I feel like reading a book is immediately at my finger tips!
3. Books are cheaper! New releases still in hard book are about 9.99 when downloaded to my Nook. Older paper backs are about 4 or 5 dollars.
4. I can keep the Nook in my purse and it holds on it thousands of books. So I can easily take 10 books with me on vacation and it just takes up that little space in my purse, and its less than a lb!
5. It makes reading a one handed job. I can hold Will on my lap with my right arm around him, hold the Nook in my left hand and turn the page by clicking a button on the Nook with that same left hand. Therefore never even making Will aware of the fact that I am not ACTUALLY watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
6. The Nook keeps my place..now while an old fashioned book mark does too; I just never used a book mark very well.
7. Did I mention that it doesn't take up space or gather dust?
8. The text can be made smaller or bigger.
9. Its adorable, and so is my pretty cover.
10. For whatever reason I just read more. Perhaps its because the books costs less, perhaps its because I feel less guilty if I buy a book and don't like it, I move onto another book? Whatever the reason, I have read about a dozen books in the last six months, and before I had my Nook I read maybe just one or two in the past two year!.

Frequently asked questions:

Do I miss the feel and smell of paper and the actual book? No, never. I thought I might but I don't.

Can you lend books on the Nook to other people? In theory yes, but so far none of the books that I have purchased on technically lendable.

Is the Nook lighted? No. While it is very easy on the eyes, and reads quite nicely in the sun, if you are in the dark you can not see it without a light.

Is there an audio component with the Nook? No there is no voice that reads the book to you, though you can download MP3 files to it.

Does the battery last? Yes, the battery lasts quite well, and charges quickly!!

What about the Kindle? What about it? I think its probably awesome too, but I don't know nearly as much about it, and my husband bought me the Nook.


To Nook or not to Nook? I say most definitely Nook!

New Feature at Walt Disney World!

I am so excited about the new internet feature that Walt Disney World put on their web site some time in the last day or so!! Anyone who has internet access (and it works nicely on my Blackberry) can access information about the park at their fingertips!! By using the website you simply click on a theme park. For example, lets say that I choose Disney's Hollywood Studios. It then asks me if I want info about attractions, characters, dining, shopping or transportation. If i click attractions it than allows me to browse the attractions based on wait time, and Fast Pass availability! If I click on characters it tells me where and when I might see Handy Manny, Mater, Mickey, Mike, Power Rangers, Sully, The Incredibles, and The Toy Story Friends!! The dining option tells me what restaurants are availble by location or cuisine. While the application might take the "hunt" out of finding some of the characters; it would also take some of the anxiety away from missing an attraction or character that is really a must for your family! For instance I really really wanted to see Sully. I checked back for him three times, and with the new feature it indicates what blocks of time you can expect him to be there! I wouldn't want to spend my whole day with my nose in my Blackberry, but it certainly provides a handy option!!!

The fear of the tantrum....at Walt Disney World

Our first day at Walt Disney World was spent at the Animal Kingdom. It is a beautiful beautiful park. When we originally planned our trip, we were planning to go only for two days, and only to the Magic Kingdom; however, my husband's desire to see Kilimanjaro Safari prompted us to commit to a third day (Animal Kingdom) and then three lead to four and four lead to five. Anyway, we got to the Animal Kingdom very close to the time that it opens; and we headed directly to Kilimanjaro Safari. Kilimanjaro Safari is a feature that allows you to pretend that you are on Safari in Africa.

When we got there we used the Williams' families strategy for Fast Pass. Joe and Will got in line, and I too our tickets to the Fast Pass Kiosk to get a Fast Pass to ride again, later in the day. We have heard that riding the ride multiple times is even recommended because you just never know what the animals might be doing. We were excited to see the animals in an environment that is more natural than the typical zoo provides. We were not disappointed. And, one of the cutest moments of the whole trip happened on that ride. Will was so excited by the animals (keep in mind this is the very first thing we have done on our much anticipated trip). Will sees a giraffe and he said so excitedly, and in such a loud and grown up voice, "Hi Giraffe, I Will!" I am not sure if it was cuter that he introduced himself for the first time to my ears, or if it was the fact that he actually thought the giraffe cared and might respond! We saw many exciting animals, and I particularly loved seeing the baby animals!



We left Kilimanjaro Safari and went on to other attractions. It was a very very hot day. And, we were tired. The excitement and travel and heat had successfully worn us down prematurely that day. Yet we still had our Fast Passes to ride Kilimanjaro Safari again. So we pushed on. Despite the fact that we had our Fast Passes, we still had to wait a short time (10 minutes)...and Will had the tantrum. And when I say the tantrum. I mean THE tantrum. It was a tantrum of epic proportions. We felt stuck, should we back out of line? Should we go forward? Should we hope that if we just get on the ride he will recover? But just like everything else at Walt Disney World...the cast knew what to do. Along comes an official looking guy who said to us that he would like to help if he could. Might he suggest that we go to the Child Care Center and give Will a break, and that he would give us a slip of paper so that we could go on ANY ride we wanted that day and go right to the front of the line. Could he put the magic back in our day? We were so relieved, he helped us out of line, he helped us to take the break we should have known to take for ourselves, and he helped to make it so that it was easy to return to the fun when we were ready. When I hear families worry that Walt Disney World is big, and scary and crowded, and that their kids or worse their husbands might not be ready. I shout, "relax!" Believe it or not, Walt Disney seemed to know what he was doing with this place and families!!

I lived it, do I need a picture of it?

We spent the second day of our trip at the Magic Kingdom, touring nearly the entire day. We took a short break in the afternoon to prepare for our very special dinner with Mickey Mouse and friends at Chef Mickey's located at the Contemporary Resort (click on Chef Mickey's for Williams family blogs directions and description of Chef Mickey's, I can not do it the justice that they can). And then following dinner we went back to the Magic Kingdom, took in the fireworks, the carousel, and the lighted parade.

The NEXT day, we decided to rest up, just a little. We spent the day at the amazing pools and water slide at our time share the Fountains Resort. Will loved the water. He was just a little fish in his life jacket and floaties. I was shocked at the difference between last year and this, with his enthusiasm for floating on his back and for leaping off the side of the pool with no one to catch him. He climbed the stairs to the water slide and slid down on his own maybe 30 or so times before the resort "caught" him and let him know that he was technically too little to slide.



That night we ate dinner in the time share and then headed back to the pool only to realize that because of lightning we were going to be unable to swim. Will was so upset. I carried a screaming, kicking, and hollering 2 1/2 year old what seemed like a mile back to the condo. And, eventually we went to bed. In the morning before I even opened my eyes, I knew. I knew that my camera was gone. That I had left our water proof camera right on the edge of the pool just before the lightning forced us out. And it was gone, along with hundreds of pictures. I ran down to the pool but it was not there. I was confident that it was gone, but checked with lost and found. They would open in a couple of hours. I was so sad and when I informed Joe he was so angry he said, "I have nothing to say to you." Because after all, I lose stuff constantly. I even once recycled my reading glasses. Just yesterday I lost the garage door opener in his Jeep Wrangler, it has still yet to be found...and we are not talking about a very big space. So, suffice it to say I have a reputation. I tried to be encouraging that we could retake the pictures....but then I remembered that while we could retake a great many of them...our dinner at Chef Mickey's would be lost. Why is there no photopass guy (click on photopass to see Williams family's explanation of photopass at WDW) at Chef Mickey's, taking pictures as they do throughout the park I wonder!?

Chef Mickey's was a real highlight of the trip. Delicious food and a "contemporary" restaurant are fun. (I love pics of food!)


But the truth is that nothing compares to the energy and excitement of having dinner made by Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, and even Pluto. It was such a highlight. And we would not be able to relive that.





To our shock, when the woman who worked at lost and found came in, the camera was on her desk. She called me immediately and we were elated that the camera was found. HOWEVER, the drama was not over yet! Joe decided, to go ahead and transfer the pictures to a computer so that if God forbid I lost the camera again, it would be OK. Well, upon transfer there was some kind of technology snafu, and the pictures were all lost---the memory card erased!! By this time, I am finding it almost comical..and just darn grateful that its not my fault!! And I at this point feel like, I lived it. I do not necessarily need a picture of it. I would however miss the pictures of Chef Mickeys.

I have heard a number of camera stories now, people having broken their cameras, losing them, dropping them in water, technology problems etc. I'm wondering on our next trip if I should plan to remove pictures every day in case there is another snafu??

I am pleased to report that we were able to recover the pictures as seen above..with some fancy software. And while they are not the quality that they might have been, we do have them. And I am glad to have them.