Just a tiny update on my kiddos

I have learned, that bad luck is coming. Its not if, its when. So with that said; if your luck is good...well then you better really take it in and enjoy it! Right now, I'm taking it in baby.

So with that said, I thought I'd just take a few minutes to reflect on how awesome these two boys are doing. Our wee one, as we like to call him is now 16 lbs! He just got his first two baby teeth; and rolls over from back to front. We could sit and watch him try for hours. He is an easy baby except when you won't hold him all the time; and then apparently he gives our daycare gal hell. Joe has been working on his photography and takes Cole & Will's pictures endlessly. I look forward to holding him every day while I'm working; and frequently do, all night long.

Will is just getting to be such a young man. He asked me yesterday to not hold his hand in the car when we were riding to Pella. His vocabulary is growing by the day and frequently cracks us up with his accidental insights. I have yet to learn that he is listening all the time, and can pretty accurately report what he has heard. He is 42 inches tall and 42 lbs. He loves rocks and all treasures. He could spend hours scouring mimi's beach for interesting things. He loves me most, he tells me. More than anyone. And I believe him.

My favorite part of every day is the 10 minute ride home, when we are all together riding away form the long day into the hours of the evening. We are all quiet and strapped into our seats. We are all happy to be together and happy. Will says everyday without fail, "its good to be home."

Valentines Card 2012

Happy Heart Day Valentine's Card

Invitations, announcements and Valentine's Day cards by Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

Last February I was numb. Numb in a way that was difficult to understand. One day stands out in my memory, standing in the bitter cold - outside the end of January, beginning of February. I am talking to a colleague. The conversation stretches on before he realizes that I am standing in short sleeves, the wind biting the skin on my arms. The pain hurts so good. There is a temptation to lay down in the snow and to let the pain take over my entire body, to numb the pain in my heart and my brain. He sends me inside and I reluctantly leave the conversation, and as I am walking away I realize that it feels good to have my discomfort recognized even though he thinks it is caused by the cold, and it is not. Exhale. It is February 2012 and joy has found me in the form of a newborn son. Pregnant three times in a year I have bid farewell to a baby girl, I have grieved what was coined a therapeutic abortion and I have endured what seemed like the most anxiety ridden pregnancy ever. I have spent time hating my body and all that it has killed, and now it has produced a son, Nicholas, a name that means victory. Inhale. I celebrate my ability to endure, to remain standing. I celebrate my body and the two sons that it has given me, I celebrate the miracles of life, and as I am moved daily by my blessings, the tears inexplicably appear as well. That it would seem joy and sadness enter through the same door; and as I have allowed myself to open my heart and head to joy; the sadness slips through in its shadow. I look ahead to enjoying my family, my husband my sons. I look ahead to taking better care of myself, of returning to the woman I was before this journey. I am not sure if I am improved, but I am certainly changed. No matter, it is victory in my heart and in my head now. It is victory in my arms.