My Rich Family

My Photo Book

2012-01-26T22:40:00.001-06:00

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Mum has been the word

2012-01-24T14:01:00.002-06:00

I can't believe that it has been more than a year since I have touched this blog. I think there was an element of wanting to hush the heck up, to wait and see how 2011 would unfold. Well 2011 was definately a good good year. February 2011 brought a new pregnancy to the Rich household, the summer brought adventure upon adventure at mimi's lake house, and my brother's wedding. The fall brought Will's fourth birthday and the birth of our son Nicholas or "Cole" as he is referred to. And now, its 2012; and I look forward to new adventures with all three of my boys, my husband and sons. Happy New Year!

Christmas has come and gone...

2011-01-05T22:35:00.005-06:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone. It certainly was not without event at our household. The beginning was marked by my fierce and painful battle with kidney stones, and then there was Will's 104.5 temperature and severe congestion, followed by my contracting pink eye! However, with all that said...we certainly have plenty of good memories, or at least photographs! Joe and I hosted the Rich family Christmas at my mom's house on the lake. The Uncles each spoiled their nephew with their very own firearms. Dillon and Danielle were excited about their being first time owners of bb guns (you'll shoot your eye out!) and Will the proud owner of a Nerf gun. The O'Neill's celebrated with a competitive game of Monopoly with $20.00 in actual cash awarded to the winner, mimi. We enjoyed my brother's engagement to the latest member of our family Danielle; and Will had his first sledding adventure down a big big hill. And finally, my own tiny family, Joe Will and I waited for Santa Clause at home and despite the fact that Will was so exhuasted by fever and congestion that he did not even recongize Mickey Mouse in the morning...he eventually became excited about his new scooter and GeoTrax train set.

And then there was of course the fact that Will learned about the Baby Cheese (Jesus), Mary/Joseph and the 3 wise men this year with the help of Ottumwa's Nights and Lights where they were lit up in neon, and his friends Leah and Lilly. We rang the New Year in quietly and contendly. With hope for luck in 2011 but with the knowledge that if it never gets any better than this, we are lucky enough.

"I want to give you a Magical Moment"

2010-11-11T18:52:00.005-06:00

So we have returned from what was a truly magical trip to Walt Disney World. The absolute highlight of the trip was Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party. It is a special event that is intended to be a Christmas Party thrown by Mickey himself at the Magic Kingdom. The party begins at 7, and you have to have an extra special ticket to join in the fun.

We spent the first hour of the party taking in the decorations, and beauty of the park. The castle was decked out in Christmas icicle lights, and tremendously beautiful. Then the special Christmas parade begins. It was so amazing; like being at Macy's Day Parade, only better. All of the characters seem to make an appearance, a broadway production times 100.

I was literally brought to tears by the beauty and brilliance. A cast member or, (employee) was sitting to my right, and leaned over to ask if I was OK. I explained that I was OK, that I was just happy and sad all at once. That we had, had a lot of loss this year, and that beautiful things sometimes make me very sad for my loss, and very happy that life continues in its blessings as well. We continued to enjoy the parade with Cinderella, the famous Mice, and topped off by Santa Clause (straight from the North Pole I am confident). After the parade, she leaned over and said that she wanted to give us a Magical Moment, could we follow her to City Hall. We did.

We waited about ten minutes and then entered a "garage" where they store the parade floats. Soon, appears Mickey, Minney, and Santa Clause. It was the most magical moment of my entire life. Will was scared. But excited. I could have gone home right that second and had my trip be complete.

After the Magical Moment, we continued to enjoy hot chocolate, fireworks set to Christmas Carols, and then Dumbo, Peter Pan, Its a Small World, Dumbo (again, and again) and the carousel. One more ride Will kept saying. At midnight we headed home.

As I was drifting to sleep I was thinking how exciting the night was, and that while I understand that Santa also went home and took of his suit and went to bed, as did the mice, that for me it was so real and beautiful and fun that it was such a gift. Just before we left for Disney World I learned that our new pregnancy is not destined to make it to delivery. And that hurts, again. And this gift took away that pain for the night and in the morning I thought first of Santa Clause instead of my pain. Thank you cast member, thank you Disney World, thank you Joe for the gift of going back to Disney World (my Christmas gift), and thank you God for the continued blessings.

A real lucky duck!

2010-10-07T18:37:00.002-05:00

Its true, only 28 days until we return to the most magical place on Earth! Walt Disney World! I am beside myself that we are returning, a real lucky duck I am. I am in fact already getting nervous about the post magic let down and my insatiable desire to return! I have worked out a tentative schedule for each day. I have a quick reference sheet for my husband to refer to. I have character meal reservations at the Crystal Palace (Winnie the Pooh) Hollywood and Vine (Little Einsteins), Chef Mickey's (for Will's official third birthday party), and a dinner show the Disney's Spirit of Aloha Dinner. We are maybe most looking forward to the holiday festivities Micky's Very Merry Christmas Party, as well as the Osborne Family Festival of lights.

I'm already nervous about visiting Epcot which we have not yet explored, and a little nervous about all those nights in a hotel room (last time we stayed in a time share). There comes no new adventure without risk I suppose. This time we are sadly not flying direct and I am a little nervous about Will's behavior on the airplanes and the chance for disaster on what will be four total planes by the time we are down there and back. I felt like we barely hung on last time flying direct!

But you know what, we planned this trip as part of our healing process, and 8 months after our family disaster we are doing well, and that's an awesome feeling! We count ourselves as lucky ducks to be celebrating life, our 2 year old's third birthday, and shhh don't tell anyone but also what by then will be 12 weeks of a new pregnancy. A little magic does a lot for a family!

What a child needs most

2010-09-27T16:16:00.005-05:00

What children need most are the essentials that grandparents provide in abundance. They give unconditional love, kindness, patience, humor, comfort, lessons in life. And, most importantly, cookies. -Rudolph Giuliani

I was reflecting today on tradition, and how some things will be the same this year, and how some things will be different. Anyone who knows me, knows that I lost my papa this year. But, in some ways I have lost my grandma too. My grandma has Alzheimer's Disease and lives in a nursing home in Mt. Pleasant Iowa. And, you know what I miss her. My grandma has been in my life as one of my number one people since I was a girl, since I think about the third grade when she came to live with us in Iowa. Sometimes, my grandma would drive me crazy, protecting my mom I suspect from some of the daily grind, she would tell me what to do or direct me in a way I didn't like. But as I have gotten to be a grown up I realize that she was always willing to give me more than she had. She always bought me a cookie in the mall, she frequently gave me cash out of her purse when no one was looking, she drove me to appointments in Burlington, and to synchronized swimming an hour from home every Saturday for two years. My grandma always listened, and I can say with confidence, never judged, she in fact almost never offered her opinion; only her ear. My grandma loaned me her car whenever I asked (and sometimes when I didn't). She never mentioned that I never one time put gas in it. And even much later in life, she loaned me the money to pay for my fiance's wedding ring. My grandma and I went on lots of trips, some with my mom, some without. One of the things she can still remember with some confusion, is our trip to Chicago for my cousin Sue's wedding. There was this moment where we were locked out of the hotel at one of those side entrances. It was pouring rain, just pouring. We were huddled against the doorway trying to protect her newly set hair laughing so hard, I really thought I was going to wet my pants. We made our way in a taxi later that night to see Wicked. I don't really think she liked it as much as me, but she was happy that I was happy.

My grandma was really interesting too. She was a dancer when she was young, in a circus! One time we were at a showing of Miss Saigon in a theater in Chicago, the theater just glorious. Just before the show begins, she says very matter of factly, "I was once in a dance group that performed here, The Kit Kat Club." We just started laughing, because to her it had not been worth mentioning all day long or as we sat there for an hour before the show started. Just an ordinary fact to her, that she had once been a dancer on this stage. It was as if she never really knew, even before the Alzeimer's how beautiful and interesting and fun she was.

She has given me over my lifetime, literally hundreds of beautiful gifts, but every Christmas I enjoy most putting out my collection of Swarofski snowflake ornaments from her. Every year, she would say, are you SURE you want another. And I would say, oh yes, I do. And I'm so glad I have them. My grandma made hundreds and hundreds of cookies for my wedding rehearsal party, even though she could only make them a few at a time in a counter top oven. I'm lucky to have her still, she is still alive, and I can hear her voice. But I just wanted to take a minute and reflect on the things that I miss about her...and also to reflect on how lucky Will is to have my mom. I hope they are friends like my grandma and me and that I have the sense to stay out of the way.

Carroll's Pumpkin farm

2010-09-26T15:59:00.006-05:00

Well we made it, a sunny day yielded some questions about whether it would be warm enough; but as it turns out a high of 63 was perfect for Carroll's Pumpkin Patch! Carroll's opens at 1 on Sunday, and while Autumn Acres in nearby Oskaloosa is much closer, they are not open on Sundays at all!

We headed to Carroll's in Grinnell and it took us just over an hour to get there. The crowd was very small probably in part because we got there right at opening time. Will loved feeding the goats and jumping on the huge jumping pillow that is sort of like an orange monster trampoline. He loved showing off his recently perfected tricycling skills, and trying a tire swing. He was anxious to have his picture taken, and loved posing on the tractors and in front of the painted signs. He especially loved the grain building, playing in what must be tons of corn for about 30 minutes.

A lunch of hotdogs and bottled root beer made for a great way to the end the afternoon.

We took Will to Carroll's Pumpkin Patch once before when he was just less than one year old, (he is just less than 3 now). I noticed lots of differences of course his size and independence. Though he loved feeding the goats then and now. This time the air gun that shoots corn cobs sent him sprinting to the safety of the tree house, maybe next year?

A new activity on a rain day...

2010-09-25T21:38:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking every weekend for a while that we are going to head to the Pumpkin Patch, maybe in Grinnell, maybe in Donaldson, maybe in Oskaloosa, but it just hasn't been a nice day! So today at the start of yet another rainy day we decided to venture over to Bridge City Bowl. They had open bowling starting at noon, for 2.50 a game and 1.75 for shoes. The bowling alley was empty aside from us for the majority of the time that we were there. We headed over to the alley with Will's friends Lilly and Leah. He tried rolling it and using the ball stand, either way it was fun. Fallowed by lunch at Taco Bells we made the most of a rainy day. Pumpkin patch tomorrow? I sure would love to see the sun on a day OTHER than a weekday!

Dreams Come True

2010-09-17T10:56:00.005-05:00

I hesitate to write about this because its not specifically my news...but I can't resist because it is so exciting for us...and the broader implication that its never to late for your dreams to come true! My mom grew up in Chicago Illinois but her grandparents had a cottage on a lake in Red Granite Wisconsin called Pearl Lake. She visited that lake whenever she could until she was 20 years old. It became a way of life, being at the Lake, and she always loved it. They had friendsips, and first loves, swimming and skiing, long lazy days when it raining, visits to the sauna. She has always wished a return to the Lake Days. We vacationed there several times while I was growing up and we have fond memories of those visits and the lucky times when our cousins were there too. About two weeks ago my brother suggested to my mom that she could probably make this dream a reality if she wanted. She has more free time now that my papa is gone, and it has come time to think about her own retirement and what that will look like in the next several years. They set out a three year plan, and two weeks later she has closed the deal on a lake property! We are so excited about "mimi's place" on Lake Thunderhead in Unionville Missouri. It is just a hop/skip/jump for all of us. There is plenty of room for children and grandchildren. While Will is the only little one now we hope that eventually there might be siblings and cousins. I find myself fantasizing about boats and dice games, about hot dog roasts and smores. About pretending to camp in mimi's back yard. It is so exciting to see her dream come true, and it is even better that we get to be a part of it!

Adieu to summer

2010-09-09T04:49:00.007-05:00

I can't believe its true, that summer is really over. It feels like a landmark to me though. Like Fall is a starting place, a new beginning. The pleasure of a sharp pencil and a new school year feels good. When I look back at the summer it feels incredibly long and incredibly short simultaneously. But the end of summer is always marked by Labor Day and for people who have lived in Mt. Pleasant, the annual Old Thresher's Event.

My mom lives really close to the Old Thresher's Fairground, so its easy for us to go over for just a few hours. We can walk, and avoid the parking nightmare. For us this year it was really just a great afternoon.

We arrived and went straight to the train ride where by sheer good fortune landed ourselves on the train where a robbery is staged. Will loves "bad guys" and he enjoyed the robbery immensely. I learned after a few trips on trains that the loud noise can really ruin a trip; so earlier in the summer I got Will some headphones...and they made Old Threshers far more enjoyable! I saw lots of hands over ears and tears, but not Will this year. I felt like a good mom. After the train ride and robbery, the three of us headed over to the church tent to gorge on meat loaf sandwiches and a plan for strawberry short cake. We were too full for cake. Some day we will learn, eat dessert first.

After lunch we headed over to a child's play area where Will rode a pony, twice. And, then, a tractor! He was adorable and continues to be thrilled with his new t-shirt that declares he drove a tractor at Old Threshers (a gift from his mimi). We finished the afternoon at Old Threshers with a ride on the carousel.

But the day was not over. Oh no, we picked granny up and headed to nearby New London for some ice cream. Will was a doll the entire day and promptly fell fast asleep on the return ride from New London, only to awake eventually in Ottumwa.

I didn't feel any sadness on this particular year, on this ceremonially end to summer afternoon. While it was tremendous to have time with my family, and to not have to balance work and play, there is pleasure in a new beginning.

Just as a reminder, don't forget the Polar Express train ride tickets at Old Thresher's MicMillan Park go on sale soon. In fact if you go to the above link, on October 15 there will be a mail in reservation form available for printing. If you wish to buy tickets you can mail this form in by October 28 for your tickets. November 1 you can call to make reservations. Old Thresher's boasts that their tickets for the 5 days of rides has previously sold out in 10 days. Train runs December 3,4,5, 11 and 12.

My digital scrapbook 2008-2009

2010-08-18T15:06:00.001-05:00

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Will first year November 2007-2008

2010-08-18T15:05:00.001-05:00

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Rich Family 2009 2010

2010-08-18T14:56:00.001-05:00

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Friday Family Night at Blank Park Zoo

2010-08-08T12:25:00.003-05:00

For our 11th anniversary we headed to Des Moines. We did some back to school shopping, enjoying the sales and tax free weekend. We did a little swimming in the hotel pool; and then headed over to Blank Park Zoo! Apparently, in the summer time, you can go to Blank Park Zoo on Friday evenings. They are open until 8 PM and they offer a little music and demonstrations with the animals. The night we were there happened to be the bat education night, which is sort of ironic as we absolutely HATE bats!! The weather was nice and cool and the animals were SO active! I have been to the zoo many times and have never actually seen the animals move so much! The giraffes were eating, and the lions were playing with a huge ball! Will loved it and so did we! I highly recommend Family Friday nights at Blank Park Zoo! We invested in a family pass for the Science center and zoo for the next year. They have several hundred zoos and museums that recongize the pass, so we will be heading to Omaha soon! Pictures to come!

Celebration of Life

2010-08-01T16:08:00.002-05:00

My papa really wanted this last week to be a "celebration of life". But no matter how you slice it; it is a hard and difficult time. It is never good to say goodbye. I personally, am not good with change. I have shown my ass several times in the past seven days at times acting selfishly, at times sulking and pouting, at times irrationally angry, and always exhausted. I am tired, very tired. It is the first time that I have had to do sad without my papa. I am confident that we will move ahead and create a new normal; but for now I am just letting myself be tired. Please take a look at the video tribute shown at my papa's memorial. A labor of love my husband and I made, a tribute to a good man, a good husband, a good papa.

Team O'Neill

2010-07-28T00:28:00.007-05:00

My papa repeatedly said that he owed my mother everything; that without her his life would have been nothing. He frequently worried about things being good enough for her. That she deserved the sun and the moon which he attempted to give her figuratively; and literally in jewelry that has the sun and the moon on it. My papa said that my mom taught him how to have fun; I think my papa taught my mom to believe in her own ability to do anything she wants. He may have regretted the amount of self confidence she eventually had; because he liked taking care of her and he liked that she used to need him to do that. I'm not sure at the end who was taking care of who.

My parents liked to dance. And my papa was a good dancer. He enjoyed the music and the drama of a ballroom; the beauty of the experience, while my mom took care of counting and knowing how to help move around the floor; all while making it seem that he was leading. It is an analogy for their marriage really. The waltz is hard but their foxtrot together was perfect. My parents song was Moon River.

My mom and papa met the first time in a parking lot. He was the counselor. She a brand new teacher. She was not sure where she was supposed to go; he was running late. Later that year she lost her temper with a student and she got really worried that she shouldn't have. She went to talk to the principal who was out. My dad the counselor reassured her that she shouldn't worry; he would take care of it. And he did, he always did.

My mom and papa were a good team. And I know that she's not sure how to be just one person on what has been Team O'Neill. But I know that she can do it; and I am confident that my papa is waiting. He always waited for her. While she was on the phone with me; while she was trying on clothes; while she made dinner...on and on. And he never minded. He is waiting patiently then and now.

I think what sticks out to me most is that he loved her so. And while her room mate Linda said, "What does he want with you?" when Linda answered the door for their first date. My papa to the very end knew that quite possibly, he was the lucky one.

My papa passed away Saturday July 25. He will be missed every single day.

A symbol of independence

2010-07-19T05:19:00.002-05:00

"Mickey Mouse is, to me, a symbol of independence. He was a means to an end. He popped out of my mind onto a drawing pad twenty years ago on a train ride from Manhattan to Hollywood at a time when business fortunes of my brother Roy and myself were at lowest ebb and disaster seemed right around the corner. Born of necessity, the little fellow literally freed us of immediate worry." - Walt Disney

I have been thinking a lot about how it is that I have found our adventures in Disney World a healing process. I think that it has something to do with being a family, and having something to look forward to. I think it has something to do with going to a place where it is expected that you will smile. But when I read the previous quote, I thought maybe Walt Disney said it best. Perhaps it is about freeing yourself from worry. Allowing the worry and the fear and the sorrow to fade away. Whether it the Mickey flag outside our house, the sticker on my car, a photo on my desk, or this blog. Mickey has become a reminder to be happy. A "symbol of independence" Today I head to Iowa City to talk to our doctors about adding to our family. It is exciting and scary. They will advise us about the best route to take and whether or not it is wise; we trust them. Mostly I find myself grateful that we are feeling independent enough from our tragedies to move ahead in whatever direction life takes us.

Disney Scrapbook

2010-07-14T09:52:00.001-05:00

I finally finished my Disney scrapbook!! Take a look if you like:

http://www.disneyphotopass.com/virtualviewer.aspx?id=d3b37033-fefb-4956-8b1f-ec75751f62a7

To Nook or not to Nook

2010-07-10T00:16:00.004-05:00

The Nook is an e-reader made available at Barnes and Noble for between 149.00 and 199.00 (depending on whether you chose Wi-Fi connectivity or 3G connectivity. I have had my Nook since Christmas and while it has steadily decreased in price since that time, I am not a bit sorry that I have had it for the last 6 months! Next to the GPS I think it is my favorite piece of technology in the Rich household. Top 10 reasons I love my Nook:

1. When I'm done with a book; it doesn't take up space or gather dust!
2. When I feel like reading a book is immediately at my finger tips!
3. Books are cheaper! New releases still in hard book are about 9.99 when downloaded to my Nook. Older paper backs are about 4 or 5 dollars.
4. I can keep the Nook in my purse and it holds on it thousands of books. So I can easily take 10 books with me on vacation and it just takes up that little space in my purse, and its less than a lb!
5. It makes reading a one handed job. I can hold Will on my lap with my right arm around him, hold the Nook in my left hand and turn the page by clicking a button on the Nook with that same left hand. Therefore never even making Will aware of the fact that I am not ACTUALLY watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
6. The Nook keeps my place..now while an old fashioned book mark does too; I just never used a book mark very well.
7. Did I mention that it doesn't take up space or gather dust?
8. The text can be made smaller or bigger.
9. Its adorable, and so is my pretty cover.
10. For whatever reason I just read more. Perhaps its because the books costs less, perhaps its because I feel less guilty if I buy a book and don't like it, I move onto another book? Whatever the reason, I have read about a dozen books in the last six months, and before I had my Nook I read maybe just one or two in the past two year!.

Frequently asked questions:

Do I miss the feel and smell of paper and the actual book? No, never. I thought I might but I don't.

Can you lend books on the Nook to other people? In theory yes, but so far none of the books that I have purchased on technically lendable.

Is the Nook lighted? No. While it is very easy on the eyes, and reads quite nicely in the sun, if you are in the dark you can not see it without a light.

Is there an audio component with the Nook? No there is no voice that reads the book to you, though you can download MP3 files to it.

Does the battery last? Yes, the battery lasts quite well, and charges quickly!!

What about the Kindle? What about it? I think its probably awesome too, but I don't know nearly as much about it, and my husband bought me the Nook.

To Nook or not to Nook? I say most definitely Nook!

New Feature at Walt Disney World!

2010-07-08T10:34:00.002-05:00

I am so excited about the new internet feature that Walt Disney World put on their web site some time in the last day or so!! Anyone who has internet access (and it works nicely on my Blackberry) can access information about the park at their fingertips!! By using the website you simply click on a theme park. For example, lets say that I choose Disney's Hollywood Studios. It then asks me if I want info about attractions, characters, dining, shopping or transportation. If i click attractions it than allows me to browse the attractions based on wait time, and Fast Pass availability! If I click on characters it tells me where and when I might see Handy Manny, Mater, Mickey, Mike, Power Rangers, Sully, The Incredibles, and The Toy Story Friends!! The dining option tells me what restaurants are availble by location or cuisine. While the application might take the "hunt" out of finding some of the characters; it would also take some of the anxiety away from missing an attraction or character that is really a must for your family! For instance I really really wanted to see Sully. I checked back for him three times, and with the new feature it indicates what blocks of time you can expect him to be there! I wouldn't want to spend my whole day with my nose in my Blackberry, but it certainly provides a handy option!!!

The fear of the tantrum....at Walt Disney World

2010-07-08T07:18:00.002-05:00

Our first day at Walt Disney World was spent at the Animal Kingdom. It is a beautiful beautiful park. When we originally planned our trip, we were planning to go only for two days, and only to the Magic Kingdom; however, my husband's desire to see Kilimanjaro Safari prompted us to commit to a third day (Animal Kingdom) and then three lead to four and four lead to five. Anyway, we got to the Animal Kingdom very close to the time that it opens; and we headed directly to Kilimanjaro Safari. Kilimanjaro Safari is a feature that allows you to pretend that you are on Safari in Africa.

When we got there we used the Williams' families strategy for Fast Pass. Joe and Will got in line, and I too our tickets to the Fast Pass Kiosk to get a Fast Pass to ride again, later in the day. We have heard that riding the ride multiple times is even recommended because you just never know what the animals might be doing. We were excited to see the animals in an environment that is more natural than the typical zoo provides. We were not disappointed. And, one of the cutest moments of the whole trip happened on that ride. Will was so excited by the animals (keep in mind this is the very first thing we have done on our much anticipated trip). Will sees a giraffe and he said so excitedly, and in such a loud and grown up voice, "Hi Giraffe, I Will!" I am not sure if it was cuter that he introduced himself for the first time to my ears, or if it was the fact that he actually thought the giraffe cared and might respond! We saw many exciting animals, and I particularly loved seeing the baby animals!

We left Kilimanjaro Safari and went on to other attractions. It was a very very hot day. And, we were tired. The excitement and travel and heat had successfully worn us down prematurely that day. Yet we still had our Fast Passes to ride Kilimanjaro Safari again. So we pushed on. Despite the fact that we had our Fast Passes, we still had to wait a short time (10 minutes)...and Will had the tantrum. And when I say the tantrum. I mean THE tantrum. It was a tantrum of epic proportions. We felt stuck, should we back out of line? Should we go forward? Should we hope that if we just get on the ride he will recover? But just like everything else at Walt Disney World...the cast knew what to do. Along comes an official looking guy who said to us that he would like to help if he could. Might he suggest that we go to the Child Care Center and give Will a break, and that he would give us a slip of paper so that we could go on ANY ride we wanted that day and go right to the front of the line. Could he put the magic back in our day? We were so relieved, he helped us out of line, he helped us to take the break we should have known to take for ourselves, and he helped to make it so that it was easy to return to the fun when we were ready. When I hear families worry that Walt Disney World is big, and scary and crowded, and that their kids or worse their husbands might not be ready. I shout, "relax!" Believe it or not, Walt Disney seemed to know what he was doing with this place and families!!

I lived it, do I need a picture of it?

2010-07-01T17:20:00.009-05:00

We spent the second day of our trip at the Magic Kingdom, touring nearly the entire day. We took a short break in the afternoon to prepare for our very special dinner with Mickey Mouse and friends at Chef Mickey's located at the Contemporary Resort (click on Chef Mickey's for Williams family blogs directions and description of Chef Mickey's, I can not do it the justice that they can). And then following dinner we went back to the Magic Kingdom, took in the fireworks, the carousel, and the lighted parade.

The NEXT day, we decided to rest up, just a little. We spent the day at the amazing pools and water slide at our time share the Fountains Resort. Will loved the water. He was just a little fish in his life jacket and floaties. I was shocked at the difference between last year and this, with his enthusiasm for floating on his back and for leaping off the side of the pool with no one to catch him. He climbed the stairs to the water slide and slid down on his own maybe 30 or so times before the resort "caught" him and let him know that he was technically too little to slide.

That night we ate dinner in the time share and then headed back to the pool only to realize that because of lightning we were going to be unable to swim. Will was so upset. I carried a screaming, kicking, and hollering 2 1/2 year old what seemed like a mile back to the condo. And, eventually we went to bed. In the morning before I even opened my eyes, I knew. I knew that my camera was gone. That I had left our water proof camera right on the edge of the pool just before the lightning forced us out. And it was gone, along with hundreds of pictures. I ran down to the pool but it was not there. I was confident that it was gone, but checked with lost and found. They would open in a couple of hours. I was so sad and when I informed Joe he was so angry he said, "I have nothing to say to you." Because after all, I lose stuff constantly. I even once recycled my reading glasses. Just yesterday I lost the garage door opener in his Jeep Wrangler, it has still yet to be found...and we are not talking about a very big space. So, suffice it to say I have a reputation. I tried to be encouraging that we could retake the pictures....but then I remembered that while we could retake a great many of them...our dinner at Chef Mickey's would be lost. Why is there no photopass guy (click on photopass to see Williams family's explanation of photopass at WDW) at Chef Mickey's, taking pictures as they do throughout the park I wonder!?

Chef Mickey's was a real highlight of the trip. Delicious food and a "contemporary" restaurant are fun. (I love pics of food!)

But the truth is that nothing compares to the energy and excitement of having dinner made by Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Minnie, and even Pluto. It was such a highlight. And we would not be able to relive that.

To our shock, when the woman who worked at lost and found came in, the camera was on her desk. She called me immediately and we were elated that the camera was found. HOWEVER, the drama was not over yet! Joe decided, to go ahead and transfer the pictures to a computer so that if God forbid I lost the camera again, it would be OK. Well, upon transfer there was some kind of technology snafu, and the pictures were all lost---the memory card erased!! By this time, I am finding it almost comical..and just darn grateful that its not my fault!! And I at this point feel like, I lived it. I do not necessarily need a picture of it. I would however miss the pictures of Chef Mickeys.

I have heard a number of camera stories now, people having broken their cameras, losing them, dropping them in water, technology problems etc. I'm wondering on our next trip if I should plan to remove pictures every day in case there is another snafu??

I am pleased to report that we were able to recover the pictures as seen above..with some fancy software. And while they are not the quality that they might have been, we do have them. And I am glad to have them.

Total buy in

2010-06-30T16:44:00.004-05:00

I've been reflecting on what makes some people enjoy Walt Disney World more than others. Whether you are talking about children or adults, some people just seem to have a better time there than others. Some people don't really get it; while others seem to not be able to get enough of it. And, I'm thinking that it has to do with your amount of "buy in". Not buy in, in terms of cost, but buy in, in terms of fantasy. For children, it may be about going at the right time, before they are too old to realize that the mouse is not ACTUALLY a mouse....and for adults, perhaps it is whether or not they can really let themselves pretend. We decided to go to the "World" to find our smiles...we had lost them. And when we got there, I just decided to let go of my reality and to just pretend to allow the fantasy to overtake me. Now, I am not sure if I did this was on purpose or by accident...but it was something about this meeting with Sully from Monsters Inc., taken in Hollywood Studios that really made me realize it.

Following Lauren's birth Will and I must have watched Monsters Inc about 50 times. It is a Disney children's movie that I genuinely like...and he and I would watch it again and again. It was a movie that I would sit in front of; sometimes watching, and sometimes just sitting, and sometimes thinking and sometimes not thinking. An escape from my world into a different one, with Will holding my hand and the comfort of the cool and the dark of our basement lulling me into a sense of calm. And, so on this very sweaty day in Walt Disney World I could not have been happier to see Sully. It was wonderful to see my old friend, and in that moment I think I actually believed it was good to see me too..again, smiling. You might notice, Will is not in the picture. He is smarter than me perhaps, he is in his stroller tired of having his picture taken..actually saying to me, "no more pictures." I'm not particularly fond of the picture. I think I look fat, Joe points out that he is as big as Sully himself, which makes us laugh...but the funniest part was when I realized later. It was a man in a costume. It was a MAN in a costume. But I had such complete buy in, so overtaken by the fantasy...that I believed we knew each other and that he was happy to see me, and that he was happy to see that I had found my smile. I wonder, what it is that makes some other people love the World, and what makes other people not like it so much. Two of my friends confessed that their husbands hated the Magic Kindom, the most....some other good friends really had to readjust their expectations upon arrival due to heat and crowds and wait times for lines...I would love to hear from friends about what makes vacations magical and what makes them less than magical. Anyone??

Have a Laugh!

2010-06-27T12:52:00.000-05:00

Will Mickey Miss His Date?

Is that a parade I hear?

2010-06-27T09:25:00.007-05:00

I keep expecting to be greeted by a parade in my normal life...the fact is that the return to the normal "world" ain't easy! And, I bet its that way for a a lot of vacations, (my brother's zip line pics and repelling pics looked pretty awesome)! But for me, this was really the first vacation where when I returned, I just had a hard time getting really, really back to life! I think it took me about one day in regular life for each day I spent at the World to really adjust. So now I've moved on to re-living our adventures, and thinking about the ones to come!

I really felt like all of my planning paid off at WDW, for instance I had the map of Disney really under my belt. I had character dining reservations made, I had a list of prioritized things that I thought my family would enjoy. And all of this planning (though made fun of by some of you) really made it so that I could enjoy the unexpected magic. One of my favorite things at the World were the parades. I did not plan to be in a certain place when the parades came, (with the exception of the lighted parade at close at the Magic Kingdom), but periodically we would be greeted by High School Musical, Block Party Bash, or my favorite the Celebrations Parade mid day at Magic Kingdom. On this particular day it was Woody/Buzz Day because it was the opening of Toy Story 3. We had fun dancing with the characters, not just getting our autograph and picture.

I wonder now in the regular world how many times I miss the joyous spontaneous celebrations of life because they are not accompained by music, and men in costumes? Thanks to WDW I'm going to try and look harder for the celebrations and find the magic in my every day life!

Disney's Have a Laugh! Mickey Mouse - I Gotta Feeling (Black Eyed Peas)

2010-06-26T22:13:00.000-05:00

Stop CMV pictures sent to me already!

2010-06-25T07:59:00.007-05:00

Thank you Sarah Hobson, Thank you Heidi & Charles Lynn, and their healthy baby girl Tori

, Thank you Marcia and Jacob Thurman and their precious baby to be. Thank you Stacie Manary and her children Cameron & Kate!

Joining Hands to Stop CMV

2010-06-24T22:40:00.005-05:00

The Stop CMV network is an amazing organization. When you have a baby, or a grandbaby with CMV, this network of amazing mothers and grandmothers joins together to be there for you. I found stopcmv.org after my daughter Lauren was born. In the medical community I found few doctors who were willing or able to take the time to discuss CMV, and I have come to believe that it is in part due to a lack of general knowledge about the virus. I was so relieved to find a network of supportive, caring, and smart people who not only could answer any question I had, but could anticipate the next question that was coming. On mornings when I judged myself, Janelle Sargent Greenlee the founder of stopcmv.org was there to remind me that I was currently at war. At war with a virus that was stealing from me, a war I was not prepared to fight. Stopcmv.org continues to work hard with various campaigns to bring public attention to this disease that hurts so many families. June is National Congenital CMV Awareness Month. 1 in every 150 children is born with congenital CMV, causing deafness, blindness, cerebral palsy, mental and physical disabilities, seizures, and death. The statistics are staggering and it is time to bring the message of CMV prevention to women...

Stop CMV is asking people like you and me to take a picture with the words "Stop CMV" written on your hand. Take a simple picture, a picture that depicts you, a picture that rings true to you. Take a picture of a friend, a child, your spouse, or yourself...just simply include your hand with those words. Upload your picture here.

"Join Stop CMV as we work to increase the public profile of CMV to save thousands of children from disabilities and death. Join your hand with ours and help become part of a global community dedicated to raising awareness of congenital CMV and impacting millions of lives worldwide! Ask a friend, coworker, family member, or photographer to take your hand picture. Submit your photo online before June 30th by uploading your photo to our Hands to Stop CMV Awareness Wall! Then vote for your favorite image to become the new face (and hand) of Stop CMV! This image will be featured in web, print, and broadcast awareness campaigns for Stop CMV! "

In addition, if you email me your picture (eor1415@mchsi.com) or at my blog, I will post it as well. Stop CMV needs about 50 more pictures to reach their goal, and I would be so proud if some of my friends and family members would take the time to submit pictures.

Included in the pictures above is a picture of me taken in our empty baby room by my husband, as well as another taken by my friend Jessica of her own hand and her own healthy baby daughter's hand. Like many of you she was saddened so deeply by our story, she held my hand along the way and she continues to hold her hand out now. Please hold yours out as well for all the children living with, and dying of CMV.

Finding our smiles again!

2010-06-22T22:02:00.008-05:00

It has taken me a few days to post on our blog! I think some people were afraid this meant that I didn't have as good a time as expected...this could not be further from the truth. The truth is that I don't even know where to begin about what turned out to be a week of magic for our family. While some days were more magical than others, there was not a single moment when I wondered if it was "worth the money," or over hyped. I at one point felt that one particular day at the Magic Kingdom rated in the top 10 in my entire life. If you would have told me four months ago, that one of my best days ever was just around the corner; I wouldn't have believed it. And yet there it was, my smile. So long on my face that my cheeks ached. Countless times, I felt weepy over the magic and happiness that filled my chest and just how good that felt. We traveled with friends who made the trip extra special, in fact tomorrow's post, "Traveling with the Shorts" ha just kidding..Zac hates appearing on the internet so I will leave it alone. But suffice it to say the five of them added to our adventure and I would do it again in a heart beat! Top ten most magical moments in no particular order:

1. Will says to giraffe on Kilimanjaro safari: "Hi Giraffe, I Will!"
2. The rainbow that appeared in the sky while we were waiting for Fantasmic to begin.
3. Meeting Mickey Mouse Safari, meeting Mickey Mouse at his house, meeting Chef Mickey.
4. The realization that my husband kept pace with me every second for 5 days of Disney magic. Every day I got to the car I thought I could not have gone one more step. You were heroic Joe!
5. Toy Story Mania 3 times, and Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin 6 times with the help of the fantastic Fast Pass planning as posed by the Williams family!
6. The day at Magic Kingdom where we managed to be there from nearly open to close.
7. Our entire family and great friends on Cinderella's Golden Carosusel at nearly 1 AM following Chef Mickey's the lighted parade and fireworks.

8. Seeing will meet Woody and Buzz

9. Chef Mickey's, Chef Mickey's, Chef Mickey's

10. Coming home to a letter promising that the Magic was just beginning for our November 2010 visit to the World!

Walt Disney World 1987

2010-06-11T22:04:00.003-05:00

So I have actually been to Walt Disney World once before! When I was about 14 my parents took my brother and I on a very long road trip to Orlando. Pictured above is my brother and I along with my mom and grandmother. I remember my papa taking this picture and I felt like some sort of crazy scene out of Chevy Chase Walt Disney World Vacation! I believed they were trying to torture me for sure. At the time, the World was only two parks large. Magic Kingdom & Epcot. It seemed worth it to dig out these old photos while visiting my parents tonight. We had some good laughs about fashion and how we have all gotten fatter. Except Micky, he hasn't aged a bit; though his fashion is questionable here as well! I do in fact remember having a good time, and it is remarkable that my parents felt like it was safe enough that they toured Epcot extensively while we explored the Magic Kingdom to the ends of the World. At the time, I didn't let on to the fact that I was having fun, by I think the smile in the picture below might have given me away!

Gratitude

2010-06-09T06:57:00.002-05:00

I don't know how many of you have had a semi-charmed kind of life, where you have experienced little upheaval, or tragedy...I know at least one of my friends who has talked about being nervous that her "thing" is just around the corner. That she knows that she can not go a lifetime with no bad luck, and that since she has experienced none, she is constantly worried about when "it" is coming. This trip we are taking is sort of a benchmark of sorts. A trip we booked within days after our largest life tragedy to date, a trip that was a reminder that there would be a tomorrow, and indeed there is. As it nears I have been thinking about what it is that I am grateful for and here is just a short list with the general disclaimer that there are things that are not here, these are just the ones that came to mind THIS morning:

1. These specific nurses and doctors who did more than they had to. Laura, Kate, and Dr. Lyndsey Maines. Not for being nurses and doctors so much, but for being human beings...and for making me better then and always. All three of you helped me survive the storm, and made me a better woman by knowing you. I will pay your kindness forward.
2. My mom and papa. It would have been much harder to survive the last months if I did not have them to give us their ear, a pat on the back, a hug. In the beginning I felt like sleeping between them like when I was 8 and they let me.
3. My brother and because he is private that's enough said.
4. My friend Jessica who brought us dinner every night forever and offered to take care of us, and we let her.
5. Old friends who knew when to call and when to not
6. Neighbors who knew when to push and when to pull
7. Colleagues, teachers and AEA alike who have worried about us and worried about Lauren, who have prayed and hoped and cried with us.
8. New friends who accept me now, just as I am.
9. My husband for allowing me to go on vacations when there are so many other things that we could spend our money on, who knows what I need and lets me have it.
10. And you, who ever you are for reading this blog.

The Magic is Contagious

2010-06-08T00:13:00.004-05:00

With less than a week to go until we leave for Walt Disney World, I find myself speculating about how contagious the magic of Walt Disney World actually is. Over the last several months I have cultivated a few friendships based entirely on our love for the World! I have received several little gifts on my desk at work, ranging from plastic buckets to anonymous Mickey/Minney picture frames. Various co-workers have combed through their homes for old now un-used felt "ear" hats, and touring guides on the world. People who I previously had nothing in common with, now smile when I am coming towards them..if for no other reason they no what to say..."how long until you leave!?" Today as I was pulling into my driveway a friend who has consistently offered me support and encouragement in the past few months, pulled in behind me. She emerged from her car with two Walt Disney World Lanyards and five official Walt Disney World Trading pins! Several months ago, I read about the magic of tr ading pins at Disney; and I decided to get on board. I ordered my very own starter set of pins in anticipation of trading collectible pins with cast members and other strangers in the parks. So here was someone in my life who has been paying attention to my postings on Facebook enough to know that I would find joy in these pins. I was moved, actually moved to tears at the thoughtfulness of her friendship, and by the magic that Disney has given me.

You didn't win the lottery did you?

2010-06-02T02:28:00.012-05:00

Last year Joe and I returned to Las Vegas for what was the third time since we've been married. We repeated our stay at the Monte Carlo in the same honeymoons suite we had in 1999. We love the Monte Carlo for a variety of reasons, but mostly because it is a beautiful hotel that gives us the feeling of luxury without being "out of our league." I notice they are now advertising that they are the home of unpretentious luxury. We noticed that even in 1999! We stayed in Las Vegas for three nights and our son Will stayed with my mom. We made our way downtown for

the first time ever, enjoyed the O Cirque de Soleil show at the Bellagio, and layed by the pool in the sun.

We enjoyed dinner all three nights with room service to our hotel suite. We did this in part so that we would not have to spend lots of time waiting, and partly because it was romantic and relaxing, and partly because yes it saved money. Just a little more than 50.00 for the below dinner for two complete with dessert! Over three nights we had 150.00 in three beautiful dinners delivered to our room with excellent quality, excellent view of the strip from our beautiful room and with our feet out of our shoes since by then our dogs were barking!

Which brings me to my point. One of my bestest bestie friends said "you guys didn't win the lottery did you?" referring to our plans to travel. And I immediately had to laugh and say OF COURSE NOT! But we have learned over time that some secret strategies to save money making it easier to travel.

1) we frequently use Allegiant air; and plan our trip around when Allegiant is flying. AND we look at a calendar over several months to find the best value time for traveling based on the hotel we are going to stay at. One of the most interesting people I know is the custodian of the building where I work. He takes cruises or trips every year, multiple times a year. He and his wife and son are getting ready to go on an Alaskan cruise very soon! What's his secret?? He checks the website of his cruising choice, every single day. That's right every day he looks to see if there is a deal. And he is prepared when there is to not hesitate. Book it! He says people just don't take the time to look!
2) we frequently wait for Allegiant air to have buy one ticket, get one free with the booking of air and a hotel room (they are actually running this special right now). My mom and grandma and I have done this with Amtrak as well, but 2 get a third free!
3) when we cruise we try to fly in on the day of the cruise and fly out the day of the cruise so as not to spend additional dollars "waiting" to cruise (unless you plan ahead for the additional day and you see it as part of the vacation)
4) we have been the lucky recipients of two weeks at my in-laws time share, but I am aware that you can rent people's unused time shares at a reduced cost
5) we do not spend a lot of money on food, we generally eat out only once per day if at all when vacationing. If we do eat out, we choose wisely. We instead look for lodging that allows us to buy groceries. We make a run to the grocery or to Wal Greens, buy breakfast food etc., and especially water which is a premium when you buy it by the bottle instead of the case! The Residence Inn is a favorite of ours in Des Moines for just this reason. Yes it is an all suite hotel that is slightly higher in price, but it has a kitchen which is going to save us money in the long run. We feel similarly about the option to do laundry. It saves us space in our suit case, money in terms of buying things before we go, and stress for when I sit on M&M's in the car, which seems nearly inevitable.
6) we re-allocate money. This year our trip in November for example is likely to be our Christmas gift to each other (Joe & me) or another example, I do not intend to pay the 200.00 I frequently spend on getting Will's picture taken near his birthday, since we will be traveling to Disney World on his third birthday; I'm sure there will be plenty of photo opportunities and I just saved myself 200.00 at the local photographers.
7) we prioritize. For example, I wanted to see the Cirque show in Las Vegas the year we got married, (11 years ago). We decided that we just couldn't see parting with the money then. It has since been rated the #1 show on the strip for many many years. Upon our return, not only did I get tickets but I got really good tickets, and yes they were expensive. But we then balanced that with laying by the pool for free for 2 solid days and a walking/bus tour of the city which also cost us a whopping 0.00 dollars!
8) We save money on the extras on a flight etc. We pack light, the less you pack the less you pay for checking baggage. We're planning to do it one bag to WDW for 7 days for 3 of us! And, we always say no to travel insurance. Pay the minimum on your trip before you go and if you lose money you just lose the deposit. I have found that if there is a natural disaster airlines/hotels will make it right (I once had a problem with a hurricane and once with a huge fire in Colorado) and my parents have found that making a claim because of an illness is so complicated that its hardly worth it. So we save the insurance money on the front end and hope for the best on the back end and we've never been sorry.
9.) We ask Joe's mom to house sit while we are gone. Since we were after all robbed once...a story for another day...but this also saves a truck load on kenneling the dog etc, paying someone to take in the mail. Find someone who is happy to have somewhere to "get away" from their home and its a win win! Perhaps a college student? You might even be able to convince my mother in law to come to your house!
10) We stay aware of discounts. For example, Will can get into WDW for free until he is 3 so we are going twice before he is 3, once literally days before hand. There are similar benefits to flying before 2 or to going places before your child is of adult ticket price. Another good tip, my papa taught me to NEVER travel without your student ID. You'd be surprised how many museums etc., let students in at half price or even free! Even if you are just doing continuing ed credits, I bet most of you are a student SOMEWHERE, seek out a college ID!

Its about balance for us, and trying to look at a budget for a whole year and thinking about what means the most to us. I bet if you look at your budget you could name things that could be sliced or eliminated in order to allocate a couple hundred dollars towards your next adventure!

Reconciling the cost of travel...

2010-05-31T22:52:00.006-05:00

Joe and I were married a long time before we actually started to spend money on traveling. We took a lovely honeymoon in 1999 to Las Vegas and then didn't travel again until 2005 with the exception of one trip that I nearly forgot, until just now, to Door County. But anyway, I digress. We would always decide that if we were going to spend THAT much money that there was something else we would rather own. Something that would last forevor instead of just spent in several days or even a week. And then, October 16, 2004 I was in a pretty bad car accident. And I can remember Joe saying to me that I couldn't die because we after all had never been sledding together and we had never been on a cruise. So obviously I did not die, and on October 16 2005 we went on a perfectly timed wedding cruise to the Bahamas with Royal Caribbean. Joe's cousin was married and many of Joe's family was in attendance. We are pictured here with Chad (Joe's brother) and his lovely wife Heather. Only while we were out to sea we got hit by Hurricane Wilma. Hurricane Wilma was the most intense hurricane ever recorded in the Atlantic basin On the bright side our 3 day cruise got extended to 4, as we could not return to land...Florida had been evacuated. On the not so bright side, nearly everyone on the ship threw up. On the brighter side for me, I did not. But despite Hurricane Wilma, and maybe even because of Hurricane Wilma, I caught a bug for traveling...and I realized that it is absolutely worth the money. That you are in fact buying something that lasts forevor. A memory. Even if its the memory of vomit in the elevator.

But my kids are too little, they won't remember it!

2010-05-31T16:05:00.007-05:00

The excitement of this year's trip makes me look back on previous adventures that we have experienced. Last year, our son was just 18 months old and we took our first big family vacation. Again, with the help of our brother and sister in law's time share we took off for beautiful South Carolina, Myrtle Beach! We actually were so nervous about this trip that we debated and debated about whether we should ACTUALLY go at all, practically right up until the minute we left. Because we had so much baby stuff to take (we had not yet learned about a neat baby travel light service from the Williams family blog) we decided that driving was the only real option. Directly before our trip the transmission gave way on my forevor unreliable Volvo, and so we tentatively set out in what was a new "used" car. Given that we had such a wealth of experience with cars breaking down...a story for another day...we were a little nervous about that aspect. Luckily that was just wasted energy. It was however a very long 20 hour drive. I nearly abandoned Joe about Tennessee. Someone was really always crying, and sometimes it was me! We would drive until someone either threw up or threatened to bail out. By the time we got to South Carolina we were nervous about whehther the trip could really be worth it! The time share condominum turned out to be so lovely that I nearly shed tears when I saw it! We tried to keep our nap schedule the same and eating the same. We ate mostly in our condo, with only one meal in a restaurant where Will promptly threw up all over me while Joe was at the buffet. Aaah good times. We spent the week visiting local atrractions, the acquarium, the alligator park, the ocean, and the pools at our time share. I hear people all the time say that they haven't yet taken family vacations because they are waiting for their children to get older so they will remember it. I am here to say that Will is probably not going to remember that first time he saw the ocean...but I will NEVER forget how he looked when he saw it. The experience was primarily for me, and I feel like that's well worth the money. I still have the photos of that trip revolving around on our digital picture frame, and I never tire of looking at them!

14 days and counting until we go to the World!

2010-05-30T21:10:00.003-05:00

Well the packing has begun. I have a staging area where I have begun to pile up all the things that we are going to need. I've been breaking in my new shoes and nagging Joe to double check if he needs anything new for the trip. I've been working hard to prep Will with the knowledge of all things Disney. We've watched all the old fairy tales and I've used the tivo to familiarize him with Little Einsteins. I'm nervous about the heat and the crowds but I think that's a given at Disney World...in June. Another family and their three daughters are going to be with us for a lot of our trip and this brings an added element of excitement. I figure somebody will always be crying, I just hope its not me! LOL. I have been to the World once before when I was 13 and my brother 10. I remember having a good time in what was only Epcot and the Magic Kingdom then. However, my parents maintain that I was a grump the whole time. This is perhaps the nature of being 13?

I am most looking forward to our meal at Chef Micky on Tuesday night of our trip. The Toy Story Mania excitement at Hollywood Studios, Mickey's house, and of course the lighted parade and fireworks at the Magic Kingdom. I have about 2 or 3 musts for each day, everything after those couple of things is gravy!

The Magic of Healing

2010-05-27T23:35:00.007-05:00

In the last several months my husband and I have found it necessary to look for ways to heal. Anyone who knows us, knows that one of us is a lot more verbal than the other. While Joe has found healing in home improvement and video games, I have found healing in reading and vacation planning. Initially I found that I was really only interested in books that dealt with grief and or babies. My librarian friend recommended The Year of Magical Thinking, and then later I read House Rules. Both of these books helped me to see that I am not alone. And then there is vacation planning. Upon our return to real life, Joe's brother and our sister in law immediately let us know that we needed to take a vacation. They generously suggested that we use their time share to go somewhere that would heal our hearts. Where else we thought, than Disney World? We discussed driving, we discussed 2 days or 3 days or 4. Ultimately Joe looked at me and said, "we've been through hell, we're going to see Mickey damn it." So in just about 17 days, Joe, Will and I are flying to Orlando Florida for seven days in the sun. We have a five day park hopper pass, reservations for character meals, and an itinerary that leaves little time for anything but magic. I could not be more excited. Just after planning this trip we ran into some local acquaintances that I now dare call friends, who are what we will refer to as the Disney Experts. The Disney Experts inspire and encourage everyone to find the magic in the World. I have become addicted to their blog and live vicariously through their magical adventures. I have found their spontaneity and joy in life and travel and family to be a reminder that there is magic all around us and that it is important to not forget that; especially when you are down and out. The Disney Experts have inspired us to book a second trip to the World for this coming November so that we might enjoy Micky's Very Merry Christmas Party, and even a Disney cruise for November 2011. While there are ups and downs, sometimes within an hour or a day or a week, I am finding that friends, hobbies, fun with my family, and anticipating good things to come help make each day easier.

Our Lauren

2010-05-26T14:45:00.004-05:00

I am not afraid I said to the video camera. Reassuring my husband that I loved him and that it didn’t matter if he went into the operating room with me. I have the doctors and the nurses I have come to know, and that anesthesiologist who I wonder if he might actually be stoned right this very moment. I do not need you to be there with me and to be grossed out by the operation, I need you to be solid and happy to see me in recovery. I need you to be there when they take the baby potentially to the NICU, so that you can videotape them weighing her; so that I won’t miss a second. I expected a healthy baby daughter. Our baby girl was supposed to weigh a little more than 4 lbs, and she was 37 weeks. Small, but healthy. We had endured a lot during the pregnancy, I had tested positive for an antibody at the beginning of the pregnancy. We knew that antibody could cross the placenta and that it could cause problems if it did. But we understood that our biggest enemy was premature birth, that if they could bring her to full term that she would be all right.

The moment they took her from my belly I knew that things didn’t seem quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on the fact, that I never heard her cry. I never heard her cry, ever. They took her to another room, and the sweet anesthesiologist who talked at my head the whole surgery reassured me that this was not such an uncommon occurrence with c-sections. A nurse returned to the operating room for something and Dr Hwang said assumptivly, “baby is perky” Nurse reported, “baby was intubated.” I realize in this moment my baby is on an ventilator. I return to recovery where Joe looks like he has been hit by a truck. He followed the team to the room where they were working on Lauren, and they asked him to down to recovery and wait for me there. Leave them to their work. They will come get us when she is stabilized. They eventually come to us and ask us for our consent to give her another blood transfusion. Why not, she has undergone 4 or so prior to her birth. We do not realize that this is our one and only moment to say no. I ask the nurse if Lauren is going to survive. She said, “I don’t know, I know she is one of the sickest babies in the NICU, but that this consent right now is her golden ticket.” Joe signs and they leave us alone for another 90 minutes. Eventually, they take me from recovery to where my baby is waiting. We will baptize her in that moment. The first time I see my daughter, we are baptizing her because she may not live. She is dying. There is no moment where they hand her to me and I bond with her in that moment when I take her face in and I know that she is mine. There is, instead a moment when I look at her and I don’t understand what went wrong. Why it is that I expected a healthy baby girl and instead I am looking at a dying neonate. Her skin is covered in red blotches, she has a wealth of black hair. She seems to have my nose. I can not see her mouth because a tube is down her throat and tape covers the better portion of her chin, mouth and upper lip. I make myself take pictures of that moment, of us as a family. Because I still hope that someday this moment will just be ancient history. That they will get her stabilized and that we will go home and be a family and we will look back at this horror as a moment that we were scared and made us stronger. We do not smile in the picture. They take me to my room.

Sometime during that night I ask them to take me back to see her again. I throw up when I see her a second time.

Sometimes in the middle of the night I ask them to take me to her again. Joe is sleeping. I sit on a couch and fill out paperwork. I sign consents and give away my right as a parent to make decisions about her treatment. I believe in that moment that I am settling in for the long haul. Nurses don’t speak to me about her condition. Only that she is critical.
In the morning I ask them to take me off the IV, and they do. I talk to a nurse who is caring for Lauren, and I ask her to give it to me straight. She said, “she is not circling the drain, anymore.” She is critical but stable. What does that mean anyway, critical but stable?

On Sunday, I choose to check out of the hospital. I have been there little more than 2 days and I am ashamed that I am not able to just sit and stick it out with her for what I learn is going to be a very long time. But I feel useless next to her then unconsciousbody. I feel claustrophobic in the hospital and in her tiny room. I feel the need to get way as quickly as possible.

I go home Sunday and on Monday receive a phone call that my daughter has a diagnosis of CMV. What is CMV I ask...CMV is Cytomegalovirus. It is the number one cause of deafness, and cerebral palsy. It is the number two cause of mental retardation. It cases seizures, breathing difficulties, organ problems and death. It affects one in 150 births ranging in severity from mild to severe. Our baby was severely, severely affected; and had it not been for the intrauterine blood transfusions she would have died in utero. Some babies are born with no physical symptoms, mine was born with many though they are not visible to the naked eye in this picture. Our CMV is passed to your baby while it is in utero. Most of us will get CMV over our lifetimes, but it is only dangerous if we get it WHILE we are pregnant, for the FIRST time. Once you have been exposed to CMV it is not dangerous to subsequent pregnancies. If you have not been exposed to CMV prior to your pregnancy, it is crucial that you wash your hands compulsively. It is not recommended that you share utensils or drinking glasses with others. It is not recommended that you drink from drinking fountains. CMV is passed through bodily fluids like other colds and viruses, particularly from toddlers who attend daycares. It is critical that you protect your physical health while pregnant and that you asked to be screened if you become ill during your pregnancy. There is no treatment or cure for CMV. However if you realize that you have had a primary (or first time) exposure to CMV while pregnant you can make a difficult decision whether to continue or terminate the pregnancy. While one can never know how they would answer that question, I do know that I would rather have had time to prepare for the question.

Our daughter did not come home. And the months following our loss have been difficult. It is difficult to make my face match my heart. That on the outside I look fine, and yet I can not locate things like the grocery store when I am in my car. They tell me this is a normal part of grief. That your brain doesn't work as well as it should or did. It is difficult that people move on and that I know I never will completely. It is difficult to watch people become pregnant and to know that they are still not being screened for CMV at the doctors office.

It has been nearly four months and we are moving on. We think about the possibility of another baby, we look into our son's face and are grateful for the life that we have. My co-workers and neighbors and friends and family have loved me unconditionally. We are planning a trip to Disney World and planting flowers in our garden. I think about Lauren now, probably 50% of my day, and this is an improvement.

And then there were two,

2010-02-12T01:41:00.002-06:00

I honestly can't believe that I am going to have a daughter later today! I still sometimes can't believe that I am a mom at all! Despite the fact that William is now 2 years old, he is still my baby boy! I often feel that I can not believe how big and grown up he is and at the same time that he still is a baby! My mom says that this feeling never really goes away when you look at your children. The past two days have been tricky and stressful. Will has had his first ever bought with croupe and additionally tonsilitis. I suppose that it is Murphy's Law that he would need me most right before I am forced to leave him. I lie awake listening to him breathe and think about how I never will again only have one baby to worry about. I don't remember life before my brother...even though I was 3 (a year older than Will) when he was born. In fact, my first memories are centered around his birth..taking my mom flowers, and other random eventst that are definately associated with his arrival. I have always as long as I can remember been a sister, it is your longest relationship they say...how strange to think of Will and Lauren as life long members to the same family. How strange and wonderful. She is expected to arrive today at 1:30 PM. We are naturally nervous and excited. Welcome to the Rich's kiddo, we've been waiting for you.

final appointment at the clinic

2010-02-05T19:33:00.003-06:00

Off to see Dr Hwang again today. The ultrasound indicated that Lauren is becoming more and more anemic. This is not a surprise given that she has not had a blood transfusion in 3 weeks. There are apparently risks with every transfusion but they become too great after 35 weeks, I am 36 weeks pregnant now. The doctor felt like it was still worth waiting until next Friday to deliver her in spite of the anemia. He prepared me again for the fact that she will probably go to the NICU and probably need a blood transfusion, and that she will be jaundice. I am a little disappointed in that I hoped we were going to avoid the NICU, but at the same time I tell myself that she is in the best possible hands. We all hope that her lungs are adequately prepared next Friday because it seems she will have to be delivered regardless. So I will spend the next week thinking about what Will needs at my mom's, and what Joe and I need at the hospital, and what our dog Sam needs here, and hoping that the one person I can't help prepare, Lauren, hangs on with the help of a wish, and many many prayers.

Waiting for Lauren...

2010-02-02T10:57:00.002-06:00

Only 10 days now until Lauren's scheduled arrival! We couldn't be any more ready to see this baby into the world! Her dad has finished her room, and while Will seems to think that her name is going to be "Belly", he seems ready also. I am so greatful to our friends and family who have made the wait as easy as they could, and who continue to help us plan for our absence from home. Our neighbors who are willing to watch the house, and let the dog out, our moms who are willing to take on a two year old, our friends who repeatedly ask what we need, all are so special to us. I am going back to the hospital on Friday to double check Lauren's health and to be certain that she does not need another transfusion, and then the wait is on for the following week. They will check her lung development through amnio centesis, and if all is well, she will be born February 12 at 1:00 PM in Des Moines Iowa.

January 26 check up

2010-01-26T11:57:00.000-06:00

It was a confusing morning. Should we venture to Des Moines for my checkup despite the trecherous roads; if we waited were we risking Lauren's health? So Joe and I pushed on together to Des Moines. He promised if he was scared, he would turn around, I am always scared in bad weather.

Ultrasound, non stress test, heart rates, complicated numbers I still do not understand all indicate that our daughter is doing just fine. She is now 4 lbs and 13 oz, a long ways from the 2 lbs where we started a month ago. At 35 weeks they are still hoping to wait until Feb 12 to deliver her. She may not go to the NICU after all. The fluid is gone, her anemia still managed. She may require a transfusion after birth, she may not.

Dr Hwang took our picture as a momento for the baby book. The fact that he made the subtle promise that there will be a baby book is priceless.
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February 12 will be Lauren's birhday!

2010-01-19T10:36:00.002-06:00

Yesterday my mom went with me to my appointment in Des Moines. It was so good to have her with me for what turned out to be a day of good news. The doctor indicated that Lauren looks great from their tests, and that no transfusion is necessary this week! I will still go back each week to check to make sure that things look good, and to assess whether or not transfusions are or are not necessary each week. They did not measure her for weight this week, so at last check she was one ounce shy of four lbs. They will measure her next week. Meanwhile, they went ahead and set a delivery date of February 12. We are excited that because she is doing well, they are going to push her to wait until 37 weeks. They will do an amniocentesis the day before to make sure that her lungs are ready. They have given me a steroid shot to help with that early lung development. I feel so relieved and so happy that the worries keep falling away. I was so blind sided by the inital bad news, that I almost feel reluctant to allow the fear to subside. But, each day, I feel more like myself and more and more excited about meeting my daughter. My mom and I picked up a couple of premie outfits for Lauren yesterday, and celebrated with a couple slices of cheese cake! A good good day.

The relief of worrying less..

2010-01-14T14:46:00.002-06:00

Tuesday was such a positive outcome at the hospital. The fact that Lauren now weighs 3 lb 15 oz, and still has 3 weeks to grow before she is delivered at 36 weeks. The fact that they promised to set a C section date next week, which helps in the grand scheme of planning...the fact that Dr. Wang said she has made great progress, and that he thinks perhaps transfusion number 4 could be the last one...all of it is such a relief. Than why is it I am so tired now all of a sudden? It would seem that all of the energy it took to put on a brave face and to put one foot in front of the next was keeping me going. It seems that while there will still be some moments ahead that are scary, that for the most part things are going to be OK. And that information is so re-assuring...and yet it allows me for the first time to feel truly tired.

Transfusion 4

2010-01-12T18:31:00.000-06:00

Today really went great! The transfusion, though painful today, went perfectly! Again greatful to Bethany for keeping me company all day long! I was very excited to learn that Lauren has gained 1 lb and now is 3 lb 15 oz! The doctor sent me home this evening to rest tomorrow, but at home. There is some hope that I won't have to do transfusions next week or the week after, but we will have to wait and have an ultrasound to check next week in order to know for sure. They are planning to deliver at 36 weeks. A good and hopeful day!
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Transfusion #3

2010-01-05T13:14:00.000-06:00

I drove up this AM on my own, and was ever so glad to see the hospital. It is a long ride in the dark alone. Post car accident makes me afraid at times when I'm driving.

Bethany was able to help me pass the time today while we waited for the transfusion. She made the hours go quickly. I was glad to get some encouraging texts from friends.

Mercy hospital provides me with the exact same nurses every week. They already feel like old friends.

The transfusion went well. I tried to do it with no pain killer, but that didn't work out. The baby was bleeding a little afterwards, so they will check to make sure it is clotting a little later. Meanwhile lay STILL!

Dr indicated they would contine every week through January with transfusions.

I'm 31 weeks and 5 days now. Laurens fluid was gone in her belly and still some around her heart. Heart still has some thickening they would like to see gone.

Very tired today, perhaps the lack of sleep this week is catching me.

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Quick run to the ER

2010-01-01T16:53:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was such a long day "listening" for Lauren to move. It just didn't seem to me that she was. My doctors and nurses in DM are so wonderful, and so I called them. They sent me over to the ER in Ottumwa. They checked her heart, and Dr. Coleman was there to call me doll and re-assure me that it was OK. And, with those few words I was able to move on and enjoy the evening and sleep a solid 8 hours. We all needed it.

And finally home...

2009-12-31T00:20:00.003-06:00

You know its just a hard siutation, when, no matter where you are at, you feel like you should be somewhere else. We were/are very glad to be home. And, even looking forward to seeing some relatives tomorrow night. But as soon as I am home, I long for the re-assuring buzz of the fetal heart monitor and the nurses who watch the feed 24/7. I take heart in the fact that my sister in law is on call at Ottumwa hospital for ultrasound this weekend. So, if I don't feel enough movement she would be there if I went to the ER. But, it is a vicious game to play with yourself, "is Lauren moving, is she moving enough?" I so appreciate all the comments on this blog and also on my FB page. I read each and every one to Joe and they all help, they really do.

On the way home today, the University of Iowa called regarding Joe's health. Since, the two tumors were benign, they now question whether or not they should be removed...and if it is in fact what is causing his eye to droop... So, they want to run more tests. They wanted him to drive to Iowa City yet another day for an MRA of his head and neck. Who knew this was different than an MRI. Not us certainly. They sounded as if I had kicked them in the teeth when I said it wasn't really a priority for us right now. So they consented to Joe doing the MRA in Ottuwma and sending the results to them. I have to admit, that we are afraid of more tests and more digging around, and more terrible hypotheses about what could be going on. So I am trying to see this MRA as a way to rule in or rule out taking out the tumor; and hopeful that this will not lead to ugly hypotheses. I simply can't take it.

It is very very difficult to not look ahead at the logistics of all of this. And to wonder, how we will manage. I once read in a self help book that Life is like driving in the fog...and that if you just go as far as you can see that when you get there, you will be able to see further. I have often lived by this mantra, and have at times only been able to see a few hours in front of me. And I am working hard at just focusing on what I can see and understand and make decisions about. But it is not an easy exericse.

I will not likely update again for fear of wearing out my welcome with the readers =). Assuming that there are no developments, I will go back to the hospital next Tuesday for another blood transfusion. Joe is going to hang back with Will and a friend has graciously said she will take the day off of work in DM to be with me. I am not afraid of the procedure itself; not at all. There is always going to be the chance of the decision to go ahead and take the baby..but that is beyond the fog for tonight.

Thinking of each of you, and knowing you all have your own stressors this time of year. Greatful for your friendship.

Liz

Headed home

2009-12-30T12:27:00.000-06:00

Glad to be headed home to Our Will. Back next Tuesday.
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Ultra sound

2009-12-30T10:52:00.001-06:00

This AM they did an ultra sound to checl on baby's progress. Fluid contines to diminish which is what we want. There will be contined questions about her heart and the damage that the fluid did. We can only pray that it heals itself in utero. The heart rate was a little low this AM (100 instead of the usual 140) but dr wasn't too concerned. He wants to track her heart rate a little longer before he let's me go home. Dad is nervous.
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Transfusion

2009-12-29T12:19:00.001-06:00

Well, the transfusion is complete! And it was easier this time. Knowing what to expect made it much better. I listened to lullabies on my IPOD. Pain is really minimal, it hurts less than the IV they put in.

I asked the dr what Lauren's chance is for survival. He said he wouldn't say, but that her odds are improving. The fluid in her body was less, her anemia was less.

Stay overnight, back next week on tuesday for the same drill.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers today.

Liz
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Blood transfusion

2009-12-29T08:19:00.000-06:00

Joe and I made it to Des Moines requiring a 4 AM wake up call! Thank goodness for his mom and a friend to help us get through the next couple days with Will! Blood transfusion at 11. IV in, ouch! Consent for emergency c section signed (God let's hope not). Hoping baby looks good on ultrasound!!
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Ultra Sound Saturday 12/26

2009-12-26T15:54:00.003-06:00

Joe and I headed off this AM in the mucky snowy weather. I was greatful that Joe could drive today and that it wasn't a work day. Also, greatful that Jessica took Will today.

It was a quick visit..and the doctor wasn't actually able to see us because apparently he was delivering a baby. However, they did the ultrasound and the stress test on the baby (heart beat/diagnostics) and took the info down to him. They indicated that the baby was slightly improved from where she was at last Wednesday AM. We are headed back next Tuesday for another blood transfusion and hospital stay. At this juncture we are hoping that fluid within the baby's body (around her heart,kidney and spleen) will go away since the anemia has been treated with blood transfusion. The fluid was less today and the number that represents her level of anemia was in the normal range. She will require more transfusion to keep this number in the normal range, and it will evidently take time for the fluid to diminish. We are busy trying not to "count our chickens before they hatch" but it does seem that in four short days things are moving in the right direction. I will update after our transfusion next Tuesday, when they finally let me move around a bit!

good news and bad news

2009-12-24T06:33:00.002-06:00

Well it has been a strange strange week. We were braced for the fact that Joe's biopsy was going to be Tuesday. So we decided to try and make the best of Monday by going to Des Moines as a family to an ultrasound for our new baby Lauren (in utero, 29 weeks). I have been having monthly ultrasounds in Des Moines because I tested positive for an antibody Anti S, at the beginning of my pregnancy. I likely contracted the antibody after my blood transfusion in 2004 (car accident). This antibody has the capability of crossing the placenta and poisoning the blood of the unborn baby. The antibody gets worse with each pregnancy, and though I was unaware of it when Will was born; we believe in retrospec that he was affected only mildly right at the end of the pregnancy.

We took Will to build a bear and to see santa in DM on Monday. Then we went to my ultrasound where we found out that Lauren was highly anemic and critically ill. They sent Joe and I home to take Will home and to return to be admitted to hospital the next AM.

The next day was ALSO Joe's biopsy in Iowa city and I had to be admitted to hospital for an intrauterine blood transfusion. I felt less than human given the pressures that Joe and I were both facing. And that additionally, my father who has COPD is currently quite sick.

We prayed for good weather and in the morning Joe left for Iowa City and I for Des Moines, Mercy Hospital. My brother Barry met me at the hospital and they did my blood transfusion at 2:00. Iowa City rushed to get Joe through his appointments and then he rushed to Des Moines. He got there in time for the second half of my surgery. The blood transfusion was sort of like an amniocentesis, it was a 10 on the anxiety scale, a 1 or 2 on the pain scale, but I just cried and cried through the whole thing. One door down is a room prepped to take the baby by emergency csection. We made it through the procedure. And the doctor reported that he hoped it saved her life. She was doing much better yesterday AM. Because of the holiday, they let me go home. But, I have to go back on Satruday for an ultrasound to check her. Then back every Tuesday for another blood transfusion (with possible csection) and stay over night until Wednesday or Thursday. At home, I am on bed rest. They will not let me go past 37 weeks. I am 29 weeks now.

At 6:00 two nights ago, following our horrific day, the University of Iowa called to say that Joe's tumor is benign. No cancer. We are so happy. It literally occurrs to me over and over in a day that I am worried about Joe's life, and then I remember over and over, that it is OK. At this point, I am praying and hoping that Lauren's blood treatements work. There should be no long term damage if it works with our biggest risk being premature birth or death to her because the transfusions don't work or because the procedure itself hurts her. I am glad to be home, and at the same time anxious to get back to get her back on the monitor to see how she's doing.

Merry Christmas! I hope its a good one for you guys. I know that despite our worries, I have 50% less to worry about today than yesterday, that no matter what I am lucky that I am the mother of Will, that Mercy in DM offers me world class care and that I trust God. I will deliver my baby in Des Moines when the time comes.

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat!

2009-12-19T11:26:00.004-06:00

Well there has been lots of news to report here, but somehow I forget to update my blog!

First, on the up side, our new baby is doing well. Expected to arrive Feb 25, it is a girl; and we plan to name her Lauren Grace Rich. We are very excited.

Secondly, Will loves all things Christmas! Christmas with a 2 year old is truly magical. He has insisited on about 50 viewings of the Polar Express and has loved visiting Santa Claus. He knows all of the Christmas vocabulary, and loves reporting to us about Claus, and reindeer. Tonight we are celebrating at Joe's mom's with his brothers and dad. Should be very exciting.

Third, Joe's littlest brother Matt is expecting a baby. We only recently realized this when he and his girlfriend Selena attended Will's second birthday party at Happy Joe's. Who knew?? She's due in about April!?

Last but certainly not least, your prayers are being called on. Joe recently has been experiencing some health problems. Following a sinus infection his right eye began to droop. After a great many MRIs and Cat Scans, they discovered a tumor on his thyroid. The neurolgoist think this tumor is pinching the nerve to Joe's eye. But of greater concern right now is whether the tumor is benign or malignant, and if it is contained to just his thyroid or worse spread to his chest/lungs. Tuesday we are headed to the University Hospitals for a biopsy and cat scan of Joe's chest. I anticipate a surgery to remove the tumor regardless of the cancer report. But, the anxiety and worry has been difficult for all of us.

It has been a very good 2009 for Joe, Liz & Will...we hope to conclude the year with a little good luck and answers to our prayers for a healthy dad and husband!

Its a girl???!!?? Or is it?

2009-10-02T15:09:00.003-05:00

I am 19 weeks along now, and feeling great! I have had a number of check ups along the way due to a question about an antibody that I tested positive for. Yesterday was an in depth ultrasound to see if the baby is being negatively affected (or becoming anemic) becuase of antibody Anti S. If the baby were to become anemic, he/she may have to have a blood transfusion in utero. My check up yesterday in Des Moines indicated that so far there is nothing to be concerned about. Check back in four weeks. Additionally, I was hoping to find out if baby Rich is a girl or a boy! The sonographer said several times that she thought the baby is a girl, but in the end she said she wouldn't say for certain. That, the baby wouldn't uncross (HER??) legs during the whole 45 minutes! So I guess I will hope to find out more in four weeks!